Monday, August 3, 2009

Are you a mosquito magnet? Blame your mother...

Are you a mosquito magnet? Blame your mother...(or father) 85% of what attracts mosquitoes to you is hereditary. One of the hereditary traits that will make you more attractive to the flying bloodsuckers is your cholesterol, not necessarily high cholesterol, but the amount in the top layer of your skin.



Gross.



They are also attracted to people who omit high levels of certain acids, carbon dioxide - the bigger you are, the more you omit - and steroids (so maybe lay off the juice). When it comes to their dinner, mosquito taste is only skin deep, and they will track their specific victim from up to 50 meters (164 ft) away.

Mosquitoes have been on the planet for over 170 MILLION years, and have evolved into over 175 versions, each more terrible than the last. Clearly, they are not going anywhere.


They even look stupid.


SO. What can you do?

To prevent bites...
*Stop running around. The more you move, the more you breathe, the more carbon dioxide you omit. Sweating doesn't help either.

*Use bug spray with DEET in it. Yeah it's a poison, but how else do you expect to get rid of something that survived DINOSAURS.

*Invest in an electric tennis racket. I have one, and its quite fun (I hope PETA doesn't count insects as animals).



*Eliminate standing water around your home - that's where the demons multiply.

*Cover yourself. The more you wear, the less skin to bite (sorry prostatots)

I heard that keeping a dryer sheet in your pocket keeps insects away. It doesn't, I tried.

Once you have been bitten...
*To treat topically, try using some cortisone cream

*To treat orally, try taking an antihistamine.


Note, do not actually blame your mother or father. They are probably being bitten too.

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